Lama Joachim Badenhorst: The Elephant's Journey

Lama Joachim Badenhorst: The Elephant's Journey

Sweet Defeat: Sweet Defeat

Sweet Defeat: Sweet Defeat

The 2013- 2014 World of Pain Presented by Price Farms Organics

Dear God, Send Me A Criterium

Yeah, you heard me. Gimme some fast flat racing! Belgian hardman Dave Chambers and I carpooled up to Malabar Farms to race yet another hilly...HILLY race today. Upon arriving we saw the Masters race would have a former pro, Mighty Scott Young (and his 13 pound bike), the 2TallWall - Jeff Blodgett, Chris Grizzards, Blair the Mountain Goat, etc. etc. 

Oh boy. Scheduled for 3 laps or 30 miles of pain we set off. Actually up. From the gun CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB. I hang first lap, Dave hangs, Jeff is eyeballing Scott. Maybe you don't know this, but we live in the flatness of Central Ohio. Freeway overpasses are our cols, our muurs, our collinas, our backen (you get the idea). It's freaking flat around here. Second lap and the big dogs eat, actually climb and it's bye-bye Mark and Dave. I felt like Mark Cavandish at Milan -San Remo. Fat, Fast, and Dropped.

We didn't even stay around for the finish.

Damn you Scott Young!

Scott Young is a DOPER

Maybe better stated, SCOTT YOUNG is Dope. According to the Urban Dictionary it means, "DOPE - a Word also used to describe how good something is." 

When I arrived at the Mid-Ohio Raceway for the Master's race with my bride P90X-Mel , I saw Scott and masters legend Jeff Blodgett aka '2TallWall' already racing in the 3/4 race. They called it a 'warm up' race. Blah, blah blah...Sure sure, they both are way too strong for the masters. Good to see them wasting precious energy with the youngsters.

We met for a pre-race talk (it shoulda been a prayer) while Scott was getting a blood transfusion. 

The Masters race starts, and BOOM a couple youngsters drop the entire field. They included Jeff '2TallWall' Blodgett and the former International Playboy. Marilyn Chambers, Farmer John, and I were left to take a pummeling from The Doper. Every lap, he's accelarating up the hill and someone (...read me) would have to chase his wheel and sit on him until we regrouped. Round and round we go. Scott gets a gap, we close the gap. Ouch OUCH, for the love of God O U C H.  

I'll cut to the end...you don't need all the details. The Int'l Playboy is reeled back, so is the 2TallWall. The course doesn't have enough elevation change to enable THE DOPER to destroy us. The Pig loving Farmer wins the sprint out of our group.

As for me, I set new power meter records for 15, 30, 40, and 60 minutes of effort. Bottom line, producing that power at my racing weight (which I am 6-7 pounds over) would have made me a winner. (at least in my mind)

2012 We're Back

Sports fans - here we come again, 2012. More racing and even More complaining than last year.

New Socks (when will the miracles stop?)

Thanks to Mel at Beehive Books for sponsoring the 2011-2012 foot coverings. Tell your friends to shop at Beehive. Where else can you get 1>an espresso 2>the latest bike mags 3>a protean bar and 4>hip cycling socks?

Best Crash E-V-E-R

Still waiting for a nice snap of Colleen Kingery's boogie night black & blue stuff. 

But, this just in, Keith's smashburger.

Block - OH! Criterium

I was watching the Tour de France this morning before I left for the crit at Ohio State. Maybe it is because his name is so cool to say..."Dah-Veed Mon-Coo-tee-Aaa" that I decided to race like David Moncoutie the Cofidis rider that always rides at the back of the peloton. The World of Pain riders joining me were Cadillac George and Brian 'Lil' Fabian' O'Hara. 

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best plan to sit on the back today, but the 25+mph speeds were quite sharp. My first crit of the year wasn't a target race, but just a tester. Brian, George, and I were quite comfortable to follow wheels and avoid the occasional accident. 

Nice race set up, ok, next week I'll race it like Phillipe Gilbert...

Just Chillin' On A Thursday Nite

A nice rotating pace line for 40 miles, little trash talk, and no city limit signpost sprints.

(click on photo for larger image)

(click on photos for larger images)

Memorial Weekend

No Need to tell you about the bike race at Mid-Ohio Raceway. I'd rather tell you about the Larry Allen Ride. Actually it's called Larry's Last Ride. Maybe I was thinking about the ride scheduled for Monday morning when I lined up with Cadillac George, K Flintstone, and Jeff Blodgett aka The New Sheriff at the 50+ race Saturday night. Chet Scott got an idea just after Larry passed on to the big Cat. 1 mountain in the sky a few years ago that we should repeat his last bike ride. So, we've been doing it (when the thunder and lightning storms don't stop us) every year since. Well, the race was uneventful for everyone but The Sheriff. Look out for him this year. Keith, Geo, and I got dropped hard in the winds and in the wake of Mighty Scott Young's accelerations. Do I chock it up to too few training miles? Dunno. I'd rather tell you about Larry's ride anyway. 29 turned out, we rode, we chirped, we pledged to do it every year in Larry's honor. 

(if you want a better look at the pictures, just click on it to enlarge)

When will racing season really begin?

MYTH BUSTERS

"What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
FALSE (Friedrich Nietzsche was such a douche)

Best of 2010

Best Reads (no particular order))

1. The Imperfectionists - Tom Rachman

2. Thelonious Monk - Robin Kelley

3. War - Sabastian Junger

4. Nixonland - Rick Perlstein

5. Sunnyside - Glen David Gold

6. Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter  - Seth Grahame-Smith

7. The Homecoming Party - Carmine Abate

8. Travels In Siberia - Ian Frazier

Best Listens 

1. Nels Cline - Initiate (Cryptogramophone)

2. Magnus Broo - Swedish Wood (Moserobie)

3. Allison Miller - Boom Tick Boom (Foxhaven)

4. Mose Allison - The Way Of The World (Anti)

5. Jason Moran - Ten (Blue Note)

6. Jason Adasiewicz - Sun Rooms (Delmark)

7. Dan Weiss Trio  - Timshel (Sunnyside)

8. Scanner - Blink Of An Eye (Thirsty Ear)

9. Jerome Sabbagh - I Will Follow You (Bee Jazz)

10. Fujiwara & The Hookup - Actionspeak (482 Music)

11. Parker/Guy/Lytton/Evans - Scenes In The House Of Music (Clean Feed)

12. Bernardo Sassetti Trio - Motion (Clean Feed)

13. Vandermark 5 Special Edition - The Horse Jumps And The Ship Is Gone (Not Two)

14. Geof Bradfield - African Flowers (Origin)

15. Brotzmann/Nilssen-Love - Woodcuts (Smalltown Superjazz)

The Art of Eating Gelato in Venice

  

 

Bartoli - Coppi, and...

 Looks like there's room between Gino Bartali and Fausto Coppi for Pantani!

If this is Belgium, it must be raining?

Actually we were warned of the opposite = "If it is raining, this must be Belgium." Throughout our October visit to Brussels, everyone was telling us that this was not typical weather. So, taking to the cobbles of Flanders without the cold and the wet might NOT have been THE REAL experience, but Mel & I agreed. the dry rock was more survivable.

We drove to the museum in Oudenaarde dedicated to de Ronde van Vlaanderen, or the Tour of Flanders. Sports fans, if you have a bucket list and are a cyclist, this is one place you don't want to miss. Hallowed ground, a sacred space, their Canton, Ohio. I got the same feeling in Boston one December day when the grounds keeper at Fenway let us walk down the ramp and into the stadium. You see, the Tour of Flanders (or Ronde) is the equivalent of the OSU v Michigan game. If you live in Belgium and even if you have no interest in cycling, you have an opinion about whether Fabian Cancellara was guilty of mechanical doping or if Stijn DeVolder is a worthy champion. Oh boy, do you have an opinion. 

In the museum you can see Eddy's bikes, the muddy jersey Tom Boonen wore when he won the Ronde and you can even meet Freddy Maertens the former World Champion, and winner of Liege, the Vuelta, and of course the Ronde. The real treat here is the riding. From the museum, you can do several routes that afford you the opportunity to test your legs on the narrow roads of Flanders passing cows and school children who yell "Fietsen - fietsen!" 

Mel and I were accompanied by our friend Kristof a true Belgian hardman, while we found nice bikes, Kristof rode a single speed fixie! Gulp...48x16. You do the math, my knees were aching, just looking at the bike. I guess I couldn’t complain about the ex-pros bike I was riding (no compact crank) with a 21! A 21-tooth cog, for the love of God, er, Eddy. For the love of Eddy Merckx!

 His name was Ronny Assez and he showed us pictures of his races with Eric Zabel and super Mario. He had done the Ronde several times and even raced the San Francisco GP. 

We rolled out, riding the tiny, no, REALLY TINY roads of the Ronde, past apathetic cows and a few young Museeuws in the making. No need for a yellow line rule here, if you aren’t at the front of the race, there is no way for you to move up. Sometimes I even felt nervous when a car was coming the other way. Would there be enough room? At one point a car full of tourists stopped me and asked for directions, of course in Flemish, when I replied in my best Brooklyn accent “What do I look like, a map?, they all began laughing and calling me "Lance, Lance, Lance." Then, I guess it was better than "Floyd, Floyd, Floyd."

Riding the cobbles was what we were here to do, and we got plenty of practice. Ask Mel about the blisters she made on her hands. My bike bounced left and right following Kristof. No way was I going to attempt to ride next to him over the cobbles, I followed Phil Ligget’s saged advice and kept to the crown in the middle of the road. By the time we got to the Oud Kwaremont climb, about 3 hours into the ride, I was ready for the cobbles. Bounce, bounce - seated bounce and I was past Kristof who was turning his gear over a bit slower now. There’s the church and I’m up. Certainly that was enough. Back to tell Ronnie about our exploits. He says with a bit of a smirk, “If you come back for the Ronde, don’t expect this nice weather.” 

On the drive back to Brussels we stopped in Geraardsbergen to walk up the Muur de Grammont , or the famed wall. Beginning in the town center the cobbled road just goes up. And up. This cobbled climb is steep, 20% at the ouchy part, and not much wider than your driveway. It has the feel of Philadelphia’s Manayunk wall until it turns into a small forested climb and then past the chapel. 

Arriving just before sunset, it was so quiet, but yet it was easy to imaging the roaring crowds who wait all day for their heroes to make a move and ride on to the Bosberg.