MALABAR REPORT

You know where this one's going...


Diarrhea + Racing = No Results

Tuesday Nite Wrap Up

Mid-Ohio Tour

Dam, they’ve positioned me in the front of the line right in the middle of the big sweeping right turn before the final left-hander into the final 300 hundred meters. Is this going to be a repeat of last year’s race when Cadillac George came around for the win?

So that is how the end of the race set up, why not start at the beginning. Race number 3 in the Torelli Ohio Spring series and the turn out is healthy. Must be 40 guys in the 4/5, a dozen in my Masters race including the aforementioned GM product, Luca Brasi (with pneumonia), Mikey Rea, and our pal Scott “I own ever cycling toy in the catalog” Young (also with pneumonia). We had the proverbial ‘ah-oh’ moment at the start with Tym Tyler lining up with us again and fit racer from OU wearing his ‘masters’ number over his number for the 3 PM race. He planned to use us as his warm up. You know where that’s going.

We start a minute or so after the 4/5s (which included Dan-of-God) and in lap 3 of 16 Tym strolls off the front. I lineup behind Mr. Warmup - thinking he’s going to take me to his leader. Nothing doing, he sits. NOBODY CHASES. Okay, we never see Tym again. Round and round we go, half the guys blown out the back.




About lap 9 Rea-Rea wanders off the front, again - no chase. Hmm, 6 laps later Mr. Warmup decides he’s going to chase Mike down. accelerate, accelerate, and more acceleration. We are again gruppo compacto (Tym doesn’t count) and all know the our pal is just being kind, he could blow our doors off anytime he wants.

Last lap, and there’s no need to charge up the hill because the LONG downhill on the backside, which is into the wind and impossible to escape on. It’s going to be a sprint. And there I am in the front. What the hell, I accelerate at 300 meters - too far out, I get a nice jump = the monster comes around me but no one else...

grazie, grazie - third place.

Tuesday Nite's Alright For Fighting

You shoulda been there...the first Tuesday night throwdown rolled (shit, can't say that anymore) out from Delaware. OK, we decamped from Beehive and Breakaway in full force. All your cartoon favorites showed, Olympian Iowa Josh, Cadillac G, Farmer John, DJ T-WIll, American Taliban, Rea-Rea and his no-no jersey, Chairman Fred, and some tri-guy (we cut him a break). The temp was 75, no kidding 75 in March in Ohio - go figure.

It was like old times, from the gun everyone trying to rip the legs off of their best friends. Funny how that works, I've witnessed such tender acts of kindness between teammates off the bike, like when Conti taught Farmer John how to read (not big words) 2 years ago, Jeff Jackson sharing his chamois creme application tactics with T-Will, or Butch peeing off his bike while Mikey Rea holds his top tube (no jokes please). But once the tuesday ride rolls, oops, departs I get that 'you are DEAD TO ME' stare from Andy. Really gives you the shivers.

Nice ride last night, the MASTERS (such a nice term for old slow guys) regrouped into our own ride as the whipper snappers dropped us like a pregnant teenage girl friend. We labored into the gale force winds, and all screamed like little girls when we caught the tailwinds and sprinted at 30+ mph back home.

See you next week...

Tour of Knox County

What a difference a week makes. Last week we raced in 28 degree weather, today it was 45 degrees warmer! Needless to say, riders shed all the winter clothing in the parking lot and the start line look much better than last week.

Even Farmer John got into the spirit today. Only question is where do you apply the chamois creme?

But you didn’t tune in here to see salacious pictures, you surfed over to read about a bike race. For the pictures got to drunkcyclinst.com.

Here’s the dope. Seventy three degrees, 50 racers, a stacked Cat. 1/2 field and large 3/4 and 4/5 too. One COBSausage rider that got spanked early and went home before the race was over, more about that later. I was joined today by the Spartan Spirit Cadillac George, Farmer John, and our former chums Andy “Joe College” Will and the new Olympian Iowa Josh. Chairman Fred Parks made an appearance to watch, but I caught him talking up the girls in thongs a coupla times. But can you blame him?


Don’t call me hateful but Eric-the-1/2-a-bee COBSausage rider told us last December that ‘the team’ doesn’t do Tym Tyler races because the courses are not demanding and races not long enough! Yeah, right - ask anyone about the safe challenging roads today, I recorded speeds at 42 mph flying down the backside and a mere 8 mph doing nearly 450W on the climbs. Everyone was toast by the time the race was over, from the Cat. 2s to the Cat. 5s. And did I mention the only member of the Jimmy Dean squad to toe the start line went pop, pop, pop on lap one! Maybe 'the team' should reconsider their position, or take up touring with another group we know that likes to gently roll.

Your pal hung as long as he could, trying to match Tym’s accelerations after the climbs. I did it once, twice, but third time up I was cut free - untethered to ride with a few stragglers. The numbers were brutal - average 188W and 165 BPM, and that was with all the freewheeling downhills...

Congrats to Farmer John and Andy for his 2nd place in the Cat. 1/2 race...

It's early - see you at Mid-Ohio.