Saturday, April 3, 2010

Does Tym Tyler take AARP discount cards?

Lately, I'm getting letters from AARP, the
American Association of Retired Persons, asking me to join. Certainly there must be a mistake, I'm not retired and I'm not old. I do find that I enjoy the vitamins and fiber that can be found in prunes, but that's more a health thing. Nonetheless, I'm not joining. I already am a member of too many associations, the Amateur River-Wideners Club, Sock Monkeys of America, Butch's Pink Paraders, Democracy For The Lactose Intolerant, etc...

First race of the year for me. I know, I know it's already April, but I'm on the Chairman Fred training plan this year. I've even been practicing my Fred race talk, "SLOW DOWN ON THE HILLS, GIVE US FAT BOYS A CHANCE TO SEE THE FINISH." Fred always gets riders to wait for him on the uphills, then crushes them in the sprint. Enough about Fred, because he didn't show up at Mid-OH race track for what has become my favorite race. To tell the truth, we all were thinking of not showing up yesterday with winds at a steady 20 mph gusting to 36. That's right a steady 20mph. So windy, I changed from the deep profile race wheels to my regular set.

It was so windy. "How windy was it?" It was so windy the favorite sport in the parking lot was watching unattended 15 pound race bikes get blown down then blown from one end to the other.

The beautiful upper 70s temp began to drop with the wind and weather front that blew in, race time found us with mid-50s. yes, cold, windy, and spitting rain. Yes, goose bumps were raised....

The brave World of Pain crew included, Cadillac George (wearing a matching Spartans jersey & socks costume), Brian O!, Scott Ona, Farmer John (singing 'farmer takes a wife, the farmer takes a wife, hi-ho the deli-ho, the farmer takes a wife'), Dan-man-o-God, and Z. Sorry Z that your first race had to be in such stupid conditions.

20 guys in the MASTER'S race. No, not the the MASTER RACE, as in "Adolf get me some gypsies and Jews were having a BBQ." A race of masters, older than 40. Of which Farmer John is now 40 - will he ever not ruin a good field for me? John, 40 in farm years is actually 30 and since I work at a desk, 50 is more like 60. Get outta my races!

It is so windy, (forget the how windy jokes) that no one can escape up the frontside climb, even though one guy tried about every other lap. We go round and round losing a few here and there. Fast forward to the last lap, and 3 guys get a gap that no one wants to close until Conti shames us all into working. George did a 3/4 lap classic pull (he's back!) to bring pull 1 of the 3 escapees. We round the last turn and Farmboy does his classic afterburner sprint (I tried to get on that wheel) for 3rd. I was swarmed by 4 guys but able to come around them for 4th.

The best part was the results list where I find out that the Masters was scored 40+ and 50+. Seems that my fourth was actually 1st in 50+ Masters. Just the kind of shenanigans Chairman Fred has been working for years now. Thank you Fred and thank you AARP....

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