Dear God, Send Me A Criterium

Yeah, you heard me. Gimme some fast flat racing! Belgian hardman Dave Chambers and I carpooled up to Malabar Farms to race yet another hilly...HILLY race today. Upon arriving we saw the Masters race would have a former pro, Mighty Scott Young (and his 13 pound bike), the 2TallWall - Jeff Blodgett, Chris Grizzards, Blair the Mountain Goat, etc. etc. 

Oh boy. Scheduled for 3 laps or 30 miles of pain we set off. Actually up. From the gun CLIMB CLIMB CLIMB. I hang first lap, Dave hangs, Jeff is eyeballing Scott. Maybe you don't know this, but we live in the flatness of Central Ohio. Freeway overpasses are our cols, our muurs, our collinas, our backen (you get the idea). It's freaking flat around here. Second lap and the big dogs eat, actually climb and it's bye-bye Mark and Dave. I felt like Mark Cavandish at Milan -San Remo. Fat, Fast, and Dropped.

We didn't even stay around for the finish.

Damn you Scott Young!

Scott Young is a DOPER

Maybe better stated, SCOTT YOUNG is Dope. According to the Urban Dictionary it means, "DOPE - a Word also used to describe how good something is." 

When I arrived at the Mid-Ohio Raceway for the Master's race with my bride P90X-Mel , I saw Scott and masters legend Jeff Blodgett aka '2TallWall' already racing in the 3/4 race. They called it a 'warm up' race. Blah, blah blah...Sure sure, they both are way too strong for the masters. Good to see them wasting precious energy with the youngsters.

We met for a pre-race talk (it shoulda been a prayer) while Scott was getting a blood transfusion. 

The Masters race starts, and BOOM a couple youngsters drop the entire field. They included Jeff '2TallWall' Blodgett and the former International Playboy. Marilyn Chambers, Farmer John, and I were left to take a pummeling from The Doper. Every lap, he's accelarating up the hill and someone (...read me) would have to chase his wheel and sit on him until we regrouped. Round and round we go. Scott gets a gap, we close the gap. Ouch OUCH, for the love of God O U C H.  

I'll cut to the end...you don't need all the details. The Int'l Playboy is reeled back, so is the 2TallWall. The course doesn't have enough elevation change to enable THE DOPER to destroy us. The Pig loving Farmer wins the sprint out of our group.

As for me, I set new power meter records for 15, 30, 40, and 60 minutes of effort. Bottom line, producing that power at my racing weight (which I am 6-7 pounds over) would have made me a winner. (at least in my mind)

2012 We're Back

Sports fans - here we come again, 2012. More racing and even More complaining than last year.